Family mediation
Family mediation in Surrey, BC
Family mediation is a structured negotiation run by a neutral mediator who helps both people reach an agreement on parenting, support and property. Nothing is decided for you. The mediator does not rule on anything, and what you agree becomes binding only when it is written up and signed.
Mandy Shergill is a lawyer and a mediator, which means she brings knowledge of how these issues are actually decided into the room. Mediation is offered where it can save time, cost and conflict, in English, Punjabi and Hindi, for families across Surrey and the Lower Mainland.
The short version
Mediation works when both people will disclose their finances honestly and both want an agreement. It is not a soft option and it is not therapy. It is the same negotiation you would have through lawyers, in one room, at a fraction of the cost of a contested file.
What actually happens in a session?
The mediator meets each person separately first to screen for family violence and power imbalance, and to understand what needs to be resolved. Sessions then work through the issues one at a time, usually starting with the ones most likely to settle.
You may be in the same room or in separate rooms with the mediator moving between them. Sessions typically run two to three hours. Most families need somewhere between one and four.
Is mediation binding?
The process is not binding. Either person can end it at any point, and the mediator cannot impose an outcome. What happens in mediation is generally confidential and without prejudice, so positions explored there are not later used as evidence.
The result can be binding. Terms of settlement are drafted into a separation agreement or a consent order, and once that is signed it is enforceable in the ordinary way.
Is mediation cheaper than court?
Usually, and often by a wide margin. Mediation costs are the mediator's time, shared between you, plus your own lawyer's time for advice and drafting. A contested court file adds affidavits, applications, chambers appearances and disclosure fights, each with its own bill.
Mediation also compresses the timeline. A family that settles in three sessions is finished in weeks. The same file in litigation is frequently measured in a year or more.
Do I still need my own lawyer?
A mediator is neutral and cannot give either of you legal advice. Most people get advice before mediation so they know their range, and take the terms of settlement to their own lawyer before signing.
That final review is also what protects the agreement. Independent legal advice is one of the main reasons an agreement holds up against a later attempt to set it aside.
When is mediation not appropriate?
Where there has been family violence, coercive control, or a serious power imbalance, mediation may not be safe or fair. Screening exists to identify this, and a mediator who finds it should decline or restructure the process.
It also does not work where one person will not make honest financial disclosure, or where an urgent order is needed. Some families mediate the parenting issues and litigate a single financial question, which is a legitimate use of both processes.
What if we only agree on some things?
Partial agreement is a good outcome. Anything settled is written up and taken off the table, which narrows what is left and reduces the cost of resolving it.
The remaining issues can go to arbitration, a judicial settlement conference, or court. Starting a court application does not close the door on mediation, and files often settle after the first exchange of disclosure.
“She is extremely knowledgeable, and an experienced family law lawyer. I would highly recommend her to those who are looking for an experienced family law lawyer to deal with all family law matters.”
How we can help
- 01 Family mediation for parenting, child support, spousal support, property and debt
- 02 Screening consultations before mediation begins
- 03 Drafting terms of settlement, separation agreements and consent orders after mediation
- 04 Independent legal advice on terms reached in another mediator's process
- 05 Advice on whether mediation, arbitration or court fits your situation
- 06 Mediation conducted in English, Punjabi or Hindi
The path a matter takes
Every file is different, but the shape is usually the same. Timings are typical, not promised.
01
First conversation
What has happened, what you want, and what the law actually allows.
Week one
02
Disclosure
Income, property and debt on the table for both sides. Nothing moves without it.
Weeks 2-8
03
Negotiation or mediation
Most matters resolve here, in writing, without a courtroom.
Months 2-6
04
Agreement or order
Terms signed, or filed with the court so they can be enforced.
On resolution
Frequently asked questions
What actually happens in a mediation session?
The mediator meets each person separately first, then works through the issues in joint or separate sessions. Sessions usually run two to three hours, and most families need between one and four.
Is mediation binding?
The process is not. Either person can leave at any time and the mediator decides nothing. What is agreed becomes binding once it is written into a separation agreement or consent order and signed.
Is mediation cheaper than court?
In most cases, substantially. You share the mediator's fee and pay your own lawyer only for advice and drafting, rather than for affidavits, applications and hearings.
Do I still need my own lawyer?
Yes. The mediator is neutral and cannot advise either of you. Get advice before you start so you know your range, and have your own lawyer review the terms before you sign.
What if we only agree on some things?
Whatever is agreed is recorded and settled. The remaining issues can go to arbitration, a settlement conference or court, and the file is smaller and cheaper for having narrowed them.
Is mediation appropriate where there has been family violence?
Often not. Screening at the outset is meant to identify family violence, coercive control and power imbalance. Where those are present, mediation may be declined or restructured so it is safe, and court may be the better route.
How many sessions does it take?
Most families resolve matters in one to four sessions. Complex property or a business usually takes longer, mainly because of the time needed to gather valuations and disclosure.
Who pays for mediation?
The mediator's fee is commonly shared equally, though it can be divided differently by agreement or paid by one person. That is settled before the first session.
This page is general information about family law in British Columbia. It is not legal advice for your situation, and the law changes. Speak with a lawyer about the facts of your own matter.
